Below is an article written by Bhai Bhupinder Singh Ji from Bradford (UK) about his faith journey:
I'm a British born sikh, born In a relatively Punjabi family. My parents kept my Kes (hair) until I was 16. They never really educated me on Sikhi and the reason we keep our hair. I was a proud Punjabi lad and would never let anyone outside Sikhi speak ill about my hair or faith. At the age of 16, due to hardly ever going to the Gurdwara and lack of education, I made the decision to cut my Kes. My family were very upset, yet could really do nothing about it.
For the next 5 years, I thought I really enjoyed life, having loads of friends, going out, smoking, clubbing and all the rest of it. I would come home in the early hours of every Friday and Saturday night, sleep until late, freshen up and get ready for the next night out. I hardly spent any time with my family, if I did it would be sitting on the couch, not speaking to anyone and just staring at the TV, recovering from the last night out.
My parents got sick of this behaviour and wanted me to get married, so that I would settle down. It wasn't something I really wanted to do at the age of 20. Anyway, they found a girl who I agreed to speak with. We both were attracted to each other and agreed to get married a year later.
I was getting married in August 1998 and told all my friends, "In April I will be settling down and not be having anymore late nights out." I was true to my word and settled down in April, after having my last night out on my 21st birthday. I wanted to create a fresh start with my partner.
After April, I started going to the Gurdwara every Sunday with my mother and father, as felt, I needed to practice sitting cross legged with my marriage date approaching swiftly. I could barely cross my legs and struggled to sit for 10 minutes.
After our wedding in August, we both started going to the Gurdwara regularly on Sundays. We got on really well and the relationship was growing superbly.
One Sunday, the speaker on the stage was reiterating the story of Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji (the Ninth Guru). He got to the part where Guru Gobind Rai Ji (Guru Gobind Singh Ji) at the age 9 asked, "How many Sikhs were there when my father was beheaded?" Bhai Jaitha responded, "I couldn't see any; They all looked like Hindus and Muslims, I couldn't tell the difference." Guru Gobind Rai replied, "In time, I will create such a Sikh who will stand out in thousands, he/she won't be able to hide, they will have a tall Dastaar (turban)." (This was 3 months in to my marriage).
I went home that day, looked in the mirror and thought to myself, my surname is ‘Singh’ but I don't look like one… I look like a Hindu or Muslim. I was deeply hurt. I wanted to look like a Sikh, because I was now aware of my forefathers' sacrifices. From that day, I decided to keep my hair on my head, wrapped with a turban, but I decided I would trim my beard. My wife was very upset with my decision and didn't at all agree. She said, she never married a turbaned Sikh and doesn't want me to wear a turban or grow my hair.
This was a very challenging time in our lives, there would be many arguments between us. It got worse, as I never trimmed my beard after the promise I made either. She said, she would sleep with a pair of scissors under the pillow and cut my beard, whilst I was sleeping. At the time it was quite frightening, but now we both laugh about it to this day.
I began to live life like an Amrit-dhaaree Sikh, kept all of Guru Ji's Rehat (discipline), Nitnem (daily prayers), Amrit-vela (rise early to meditate). Guru sahib was doing a lot of bakh-shish (blessings). When I look back, it's probably the best times I had spiritually. I kept doing Ardaas to Guru Sahib for Amrit (Sikh baptism) and to change Sukhy's (wife's) thinking. I was getting very thirsty for Amrit, I didn't want to lose this life after being so close. I would go to camps, Rainas-baaees, Keertans, do Sangat (company) with Gursikhs and would always try to take the Mrs with me. One family of Gursikhs and my Chacha Ji (uncle) would guide and support me daily. The 'Singh Sabha Gurdwara Bradford' family also helped greatly in my journey.
THE CHANGE!
A year passed, we had the opportunity to go to Italy with a Jatha (group) of Gursikhs (think it was year 2000). I asked Singhnee (wife) to wear a patka (head covering), I always wanted her to be adorned with Guru's fantastic roop (identity) of a Dastaar (turban). Patka was a start, she agreed. It was a four day smaagam (event). From what I can remember, I've not felt anything like it to this day. For me it was the best smaagam (event) to date. The Kertan was electrifying, sangat was awesome, so much love from the Gursikhs, I never experienced anything like it. The love seemed so genuine, there was no difference between us and the sangat, we were welcomed with open arms. This is where I learnt, Gursikh prem (love) is the most powerful love ever. I never experienced this with my sansaaree (worldly) friends.
On this trip, I was more worried about my Singhnee (wife) and hoped the trip would change her life. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, Bhai Rama Singh Ji (an inspirational saintly figure who inspired countless people to the Guru's Path during his life) came up to both of us. He hugged us both with so much love in his eyes and said, "tusee larr-yaa na karo" ("You guys shouldn't fight"), smiled and walked away. We were shocked, thinking how did he know? Throughout this smaagam Bhai Sahib gave us so much love it was indescribable. He would always come to speak to us when we were alone, he would just stand there and keep smiling. His glass like eyes would shine in our faces, we both felt magnetically attracted to Bhai sahib, we never wanted to be separated from him, such was his aura and energy. We became very close with Bhai Sahib, until he breathed his last. He would always come to speak and sit with us in the Langar hall at Rainas-baaee and whenever we met. He was a very special and extremely beautiful soul.
This was it, the smaagam was over, we came back home, we were separated from Guru's sangat (congregation). We were both depressed, it was as though our souls had been ripped out of our bodies. We both had never experienced anything like it. The power, energy and love of Gursikh Sangat was the connecting energy to our soul. We had both realised, this is who we are, we can not be separated from Guru and their pyaaree (loving) Sangat.
That same year we both went on to be blessed with Amrit, Guru Sahib had fulfilled our dreams. It was the happiest day of our life. Guru sahib ji had accepted us and blessed us with their Rehat (spiritual-discipline) and Naam (Holy Name of God).
A few months before the Amrit Sanchaar (baptism ceremony), we wanted to visit Sri Darbaar Sahib (Amritsar) and a few inspirational Gursikhs. We were fortunate enough to visit Bhai Jeevan Singh Ji and beg him to do an Ardaas (prayer) at Sri Darbaar Sahib for us. We asked him to do the Ardaas for: "The blessings of Amrit, pooran (pure) Gursikhi Jeevan (lifestyle in accordance to the Guru), and a Naam (Name of God) and Baanee (Holy Word of the Guru) filled jeevan (life) throughout." Bhai Sahib Ji accepted and did it straight away. Gursikhs blessings (a-seesaa) are very pure in Gurmat (Gurus teachings).
FOUNDATION!
Today it seems, Sikhi has become more of an outwardly show and more about the image. I remember the time when working in a warehouse for 9 years, I met a practicing Buddhist there, he had immense love and compassion. I learnt that a human should be extremely virtuous throughout their jeevan (life), I held this teaching close to my heart, as this is what Gurbaanee teaches us too. I would continue repeating, "Become the dust of every beings feet through humility." ("Hoho sabhnaa kee renu-kaa"). If I ever saw anyone struggling with their work or in general, I would take the opportunity as Seva (service of good deeds) and try helping them. In general, I would try not to say no to any form of Seva, as I realised Seva was only blessed by Guru Ji. I would endeavour to acknowledge everyone with a smile and give all as much prem (love) as possible. This gave me a great inner feeling of contentment, as others would become very happy, through these 'not so hard to do' deeds. I would often repeat, "bahut janam bishray thay maadho, eh janam thumaare lekhay" ("O Lord! I have been separated from You for many life times, (but now) I dedicate this life only to You"). Repeating this would strengthen my will and belief in wanting to meet Vaheguru.
The Buddhist friend would meditate with so much dhiyaan (focus) throughout the day. This also raised my hopes and practice, it was as if Guru Sahib Ji sent him only for me, as he left after a few months. I understood as a Sikh I could learn from all, as long as it was in line with Gurbaanee (Gurus Teachings). I wanted to meditate with every breath, as this was my Guru's Hukum (command). I didn't want to waste even a breath, as this would be a breath wasted in evil thought. With Guru Sahib's kirpaa (blessings) I started meditating with full concentration for 9 hours of the working day, this lasted 9 years. I would attempt to speak little. This improved my Amrit-vela and daily abhiyaas (practice) immensely. Even when doing daily house chores, brushing my teeth, eating etc I wanted to be adjoined to the love of Vaheguru's Holy Feet (holy presence), as the ras (taste) of God's Name became ecstatic and inseparable.
The warehouse job consisted of very little concentration, it was picking car parts, whilst walking down aisles, hence finding it easy to meditate. Walking Simran (meditation) became a part of my life, I would repeat 'Vahe' with left foot and 'Guroo' with my right foot forward and listen intensely with my inner ears (mind). The love of Gods Name is what I wanted most from life, hence keeping the job for so long. I wanted Guru Sahib to bless me with the drishtee (internal vision) of seeing the love of Vaheguru's Supreme Soul in every being, and wherever I may look. It has now became my only desire.
I remember when going to Rainas-baaees, we would make a conscious decision of not leaving, until Guru Sahib ji had stopped speaking to us. We would have one parshada (chapatti), with one daal (lentil) and some kheer (rice pudding), so we were not too full to sit down for a long period of time. We would go to the men's room before hand, in order that we didn't have to leave the Darbaar Sahib (Guru's court/prayer hall). Then we would make a conscious decision of sitting through the full Rainas-baaee e, with our eyes closed throughout and meditate constantly with ik mann ik chitt dhiyaan (single minded concentration), until the event was samaapath (finished). This would last for around9/10 hours. With Guru Sahib's apaar kirpaa (great blessings), the Nitnem Baaneeaa (daily prayers) and hours of meditation at Amrit-vela increased naturally and impressively through Anand (ecstasy). I would also try to find time throughout the day for seated meditation. Naturally, when repeating one word constantly for long periods, it becomes a part of the mind, body and soul. These practices became the foundation of our jeevan (life).
Once one has done ghaalnaa (worked hard) in the early stages of their Sikhi, it becomes easier to practice throughout their jeevan (life). Guru Sahib blesses the individual and implants Naam (the Holy Name) within them forever.
Also, It's extremely important for every Gursikh to read Sehaj Paath (a complete reading of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji in one's own time at one's own convenience) daily. Gurbaanee is a paaras (philosopher's stone) which has the kallaa (power) to transform us from being like iron to having the purity of gold.
To all those reading, I would like to say, the life of falsehood I lived, was no where near the peace, love and contentment I have received from Guru Sahib's Sangat and Sikhi in itself. Guru Sahib is the best father/friend anyone can have, he always listens and never let's us down. It's just we lose our faith very easily in him, we stop believing.
Guru Nanak Dev ji has blessed us with two beautiful children, and blessed both of them with the daat (gift) of his Keertan (singing of Gods Word), in order to bring rau-nak (constant happiness) in to our very poor home. We now feel the most wealthiest, after receiving this sweet gift.
Sikhi is a path/way of life, which needs to be experienced, until we experience it, we will not realise its worth. It's an ecstasy that guides us through life in high spirits.
Don't waste this human life. Please take steps, so Guru Sahib can shower his love and grace on all of us!
Guru Ramdas Ji says,
ਹਮਰੇ ਅਵਗੁਣ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਬਹੁਤੁ ਹੈ ਬਹੁ ਬਾਰ ਬਾਰ ਹਰਿ ਗਣਤ ਨ ਆਵੈ ॥
ham-re av-gun bahut bahut hai, bahu baar baar har ganat na aa-vai.
My fauts are so many and numerous. I have sinned so many times, over and over again. O Lord, they cannot be counted.
ਤੂੰ ਗੁਣਵੰਤਾ ਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਦਇਆਲੁ ਹਰਿ ਆਪੇ ਬਖਸਿ ਲੈਹਿ ਹਰਿ ਭਾਵੈ ॥
too(n) gun-vantaa har har dayaal, har aa-pe bakhash lai-eh har bhaa-vai.
O Lord! You are Merciful and the Treasure of Virtue. When it pleases You, You forgive me.
ਹਮ ਅਪਰਾਧੀ ਰਾਖੇ ਗੁਰ ਸੰਗਤੀ ਉਪਦੇਸੁ ਦੀਓ ਹਰਿ ਨਾਮੁ ਛਡਾਵੈ ॥੨॥
ham ap-raadhee raa-khe gur sang-tee, up-des dee-o har naam shhaddaa-vai. ||2||
I am a sinner, saved only by the Company of the Guru. He has bestowed the Teachings of the Lord's Name, which saves me. ||2||
Vaheguru!
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