SIKHI QUESTION AND ANSWER
Question: I have been in a serious relationship with my partner for some years. We live together and I feel blessed to have her. We never had a religious wedding or a civil wedding. I have rediscovered my faith now and feel I am progressing in my Sikhi. My question is that should I now have an Anand Kaaraj (Sikh wedding ceremony) with my partner?
Answer: A lot of parents of children who are already in a relationship with someone, want them to have Anand Kaaraj because (1) “what will relatives say?”, (2) “it will look nice!”, (3) “it’s embarrassing otherwise” etc. These are not the reasons that Guru Sahib gave us the Anand Kaaraj.
The Anand Kaaraj ceremony is a very important ceremony, which is not a ritual but seeking approval of Guru Sahib to be husband and wife, and whereby husband wife not only commit to one another, but also commit to God that they will lead a spiritual life together and follow the instructions of the Guru. However, unfortunately, the majority of the Punjabi community, starting from our elders, have lost the true essence and meaning of Anand Kaaraj!
The Anand Kaaraj ceremony is a very important ceremony, which is not a ritual but seeking approval of Guru Sahib to be husband and wife, and whereby husband wife not only commit to one another, but also commit to God that they will lead a spiritual life together and follow the instructions of the Guru. However, unfortunately, the majority of the Punjabi community, starting from our elders, have lost the true essence and meaning of Anand Kaaraj!
It would make no sense for someone who has built a house without Council permission to later on think that “Shall we get approval for this house built without a license?” One would only ask approval from the Council, if one was prepared to have the house demolished, and then rebuilt in accordance to the rules and regulations of the Council. In the same way, it would not make sense to seek approval and permission from Guru Ji to start a relationship of husband and wife, when a man and woman are already living like husband and wife.
Instead, the best option would be when you both take Amrit (baptism). The Panj Pyaare (Five Chosen Sikhs that conduct the ceremony) will ask everyone whether they have had their relationships sanctified in accordance to Guru’s Maryada (Way) by having an Anand Kaaraj. When you tell them that you are partners but haven’t had an Anand Kaaraj ceremony, the Panj Pyaare will either arrange for you to have one during the Amrit Sanchaar (baptism ceremony) or straight after it in the presence of all the Sangat (congregation).
Taking Amrit (baptism), is like demolishing an illegally built dwelling, i.e. demolishing one’s thinking and ego, and then letting the Guru rebuild a beautiful house of married life in accordance to the rules and regulations of God, just like the Council would give approval for a new house after demolishing the illegal building first. Following and living in accordance to these rules and regulations then leads to a spiritually happy and satisfied life.
Until you both take Amrit (baptism), work together to bring spirituality into your lives. Learn about Sikhi together, do Simran (meditation) and read Gurbani (scripture) together, keep Sangat (company) of godly souls that bring you closer to Guru Ji and do Seva (selfless service) at the Gurdwara, of your parents and of the community. This will give you a good foundation for when you both take Amrit and have Anand Kaaraj in accordance to Guru’s Maryada (Way).
Instead, the best option would be when you both take Amrit (baptism). The Panj Pyaare (Five Chosen Sikhs that conduct the ceremony) will ask everyone whether they have had their relationships sanctified in accordance to Guru’s Maryada (Way) by having an Anand Kaaraj. When you tell them that you are partners but haven’t had an Anand Kaaraj ceremony, the Panj Pyaare will either arrange for you to have one during the Amrit Sanchaar (baptism ceremony) or straight after it in the presence of all the Sangat (congregation).
Taking Amrit (baptism), is like demolishing an illegally built dwelling, i.e. demolishing one’s thinking and ego, and then letting the Guru rebuild a beautiful house of married life in accordance to the rules and regulations of God, just like the Council would give approval for a new house after demolishing the illegal building first. Following and living in accordance to these rules and regulations then leads to a spiritually happy and satisfied life.
Until you both take Amrit (baptism), work together to bring spirituality into your lives. Learn about Sikhi together, do Simran (meditation) and read Gurbani (scripture) together, keep Sangat (company) of godly souls that bring you closer to Guru Ji and do Seva (selfless service) at the Gurdwara, of your parents and of the community. This will give you a good foundation for when you both take Amrit and have Anand Kaaraj in accordance to Guru’s Maryada (Way).
No comments:
Post a Comment