Respecting Our Elders...

 “The Wooden Bowl Story”

Author: Unknown

An old man moved in with his son, daughter-in-law, and four year old grandson. The old man was in poor health, his eyesight was bad, and his hands trembled. When the family sat down to eat together, the grandfather’s shaky hands and bad eyesight made eating difficult. Food fell off his spoon, and when he drank from a glass, his drink spilled on the tablecloth. The son and his wife quickly became irritated with the old man. “We must do something about this mess” said the son. So they put a small table in the corner, where the grandfather would eat alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since he had broken some dishes before, he now ate from a wooden bowl. When the family looked at the old man, he would sometimes have a tear in his eye as he sat by himself. Still, the only time the family would talk to him is when they scolded him for making a mess. The four year old watched this treatment of his grandfather and said nothing.

One evening before dinner, the father noticed the little boy playing with wood scraps on the floor. The father asked his son what he was making. The boy responded “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up”. Smiling, the boy went back to playing with the wood scraps. The parents were speechless. They knew what had to be done. That evening, grandfather sat at the table during dinner. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family, and no one ever minded the mess on the tablecloth.

Lessons Learned

The initial treatment of the grandfather in this story embodies society’s growing trend of how elders are perceived. The parents in the story represent all of us while the old man signifies all the elderly.  In this story, it was only through the eyes of a child that the parents were able to realise their error in the way the grandfather was treated. The child represents the pure honest truth, which freed the parents to truly see life. Children are remarkably perceptive, and if they see us patiently provide a comfortable atmosphere for our older family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives.

ਮਾਂ ਪਿਉ ਪਰਹਰਿ ਕਰੈ ਦਾਨ ਬੇਈਮਾਨ ਅਗਿਆਨ ਪਰਾਣੀ ||
ਮਾਂ ਪਿਉ ਪਰਹਰਿ ਵਰਤ ਕਰਿ ਮਰਿ ਮਰਿ ਜੰਮੈ ਭਰਮਿ ਭੁਲਾਣੀ ||
ਗੁਰੁ ਪਰਮੇਸਰੁ ਸਾਰੁ ਨ ਜਾਣੀ ||੧੩||
"The person who having deserted their parents performs charities, is corrupt and ignorant. He who pushes away their parents undertakes fasts, goes on to wander in the cycle of births and deaths. That man (in fact) has not understood the essence of Guru and God.(13)"

(Bhai Gurdaas Jee, Vaar 37: Pauri 13)