On this International Women’s Day, I want to celebrate someone very special to me — my mum, Surinder Kaur Dhesi.
My mum’s story is one of resilience, service and compassion. She was born in Punjab, in the small village of Moranwali, and came to England at the age of four. Like many immigrant families of that time, her father worked hard in factories to build a better life for his family, while her mother cared for the home and raised their three children. Life was not easy. Those early experiences shaped the values my mum still lives by today: humility, hard work, faith in Vaheguru and a deep appreciation of community.
She grew up in Derby and later moved to Banbury after marriage. Even while settling into family life, she believed in improving herself. She completed O-Level qualifications after marriage and learnt to drive, all while raising a family.
In November 1982, when the Marks & Spencer store first opened in Banbury, she began working there. What started as a job turned into a 38-year career. She became known to colleagues and customers as someone with a strong work ethic, always willing to help and always ready with a warm smile. Many elderly or lonely customers would come into the store just to see her, have a chat and leave feeling a little happier.
A late family friend from Leamington Spa, Uncle Makhan Singh Purewal, encouraged my parents to get involved in community service and local politics. With the encouragement and support of my dad, my mum decided to stand as a local councillor.
At that time there were very few Sikhs living in Banbury. My parents joined the Labour Party because they felt its values aligned with them as Punjabi immigrants. The local party had no ethnic minority representation then. Looking back, I can only imagine how daunting that must have been. As a woman from an ethnic and faith minority background, with no experience in politics, it would have been easy to step away from the idea. Instead, she stepped forward to serve the community.
In 1992 she was elected as a councillor. People quickly came to respect her kindness, honesty and genuine desire to help others. I remember evenings when constituents would call our house with problems. My mum would listen patiently and then begin calling different departments or colleagues to see how she could help.
Her involvement in local politics also helped encourage others from different backgrounds to get involved in public life. Today Banbury’s councils and mayors reflect a much more diverse mix of people from different communities.
In 2004–2005 she became Banbury’s first mayor from an ethnic minority background, as well as its first Asian and first Sikh mayor. She was also the first Sikh mayor in Oxfordshire and the second Sikh woman to serve as mayor in England. During her mayoral year she supported local charities, worked with interfaith groups and spoke strongly in support of Banbury’s Horton Hospital.
Alongside politics, she has always been involved in fundraising. While working at Marks & Spencer she chaired the store’s Business Involvement Group, helping to raise money for many local causes including a minibus for PHAB, the Horton Hospital Scanner Appeal, a sensory garden at the special needs school Frank Wise School and Katharine House Hospice.
She is also known for making homemade samosas — sometimes selling them for charity, other times simply giving them away to colleagues, friends or the Sangat.
Even when she probably should rest, she still volunteers for sponsored charity walks, sometimes walking up to six miles to raise money for the hospital or hospice. I remember seeing her exhausted with swollen feet afterwards and asking if she was okay. She would always smile and say, “I’m fine… it’s for charity.”
In 2019 she became the first female President of the Rotary Club of Banbury. In recognition of her work, she received the Paul Harris Award in 2020.
When the Marks & Spencer store closed, she took early retirement but soon started a completely new chapter by becoming a Work Coach at Jobcentre Plus. For someone who once found computers intimidating and would ask me to type up notes for her, she worked incredibly hard to learn new systems and develop new skills. She has never been someone who avoids a challenge. Because of this role she stepped away from politics, but her community work continued.
In 2022 she received the British Citizen Award for her fundraising and decades of service to the community. That same year she was also appointed as a Deputy Lieutenant of Oxfordshire, supporting the Lord-Lieutenant in representing the monarch in the county. This year she was appointed as a chaplain from the Sikh community for the High Sheriff of Oxfordshire.
Even in her spare time she likes helping people in simple ways. She trained as a Reiki practitioner and often offers acupressure or foot massages to members of the Sangat or visitors to our home, simply to help people relax and feel better.
At home she has always been a very supportive mum. She encouraged both me and my brother in our studies and always prayed for us before exams. I often feel I passed many of my exams because of her Ardaas.
Probably like many mums, she always thinks about the health and wellbeing of others more than her own. I feel very fortunate to have a mum who has shown through her actions what it means to do Seva — selfless service — and care for others and the Sangat.
On this International Women’s Day, I simply want to say thank you Mum — for everything you have done for me, our family and so many people in the community.
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