I Want to Take Amrit, But MY PARENTS!

Below is a post from a forum from a young person who wants to take Amrit but he doesn't know how to tell his parents, fearing they will say 'No':

Author: 123
Date: 03-08-06 13:43

I have not taken Amrit yet and am planning too but have not told my parents and I don't think they even think/suspect anything...

When should I tell them - a week before Amrit Sanchaar or when I'm asking to get the Kirpan?

How would I break it out to them (tell them)?

I'm only 14 1/2 so I feel very strange on how I should ask or tell them.

I'm planning to take Amrit in April, so I got a month left. I can do Nitnem Banian in 1 hour for morning and 15 mins for evening, so no problem with that. It's just that no one is Amritdhari in my family, except my grandparents (on my father's side).

So please help on how I can ask or tell and the questions about.

My response:

SIT DOWN AND DISCUSS
I suggest you sit down with your parents and DISCUSS the ADVANTAGES of taking Amrit. Make sure you sit down when your parents are relaxed and free to chat. Then be OPEN with them.

Ask them “If a young person wishes to take Amrit then WHAT ARE YOUR VIEWS?” Put the ball in THEIR court. Then you need to have POSITIVE illustrations and ROLE MODELS who can show to make your point, i.e.
* Guru HarKrishan Ji was 5 YRS OLD when he received Guruship.
* The YOUNGER SAHIBZAADEY were 5 and 7 years old (or perhaps slightly younger) when receiving Amrit.


Explain what taking Amrit MEANS TO YOU. No parent wants their child to be unhappy. Every parent wants the SUKH (happiness) for their child.


POSSIBLE OPPOSITION
Usually parents who are not into Sikhi themselves find Amritdhari way of life ALIEN. Also sometimes parents have not seen any POSITIVE Amritdhari ROLE MODELS and instead the only Amritdhari they know is a dodgy Gurdwara Pardhaan.

From my personal experience parents think keeping Kesh or taking Amrit will CREATE PROBLEMS which will CAUSE YOU PAIN and SUFFERING. What you have to do is to PROVE THEM WRONG and show them the TRUE REALITY.


COMMON ISSUES PARENTS WILL BE TROUBLED BY
* "If you take Amrit, who will you marry! We don't know any Amritdhari girl/boy. Finding partners is hard enough nowadays, without you taking Amrit!"

Response:
"I understand. However, our circle of people which we know is not Amritdharis. If you start going to Rainsbayees, camps, Gurdwaras and Sikhi events you will realise that THERE ARE FELLOW AMRITDHARI YOUTH and you make your circle of friends with them. If you go to pub, you make those circle of friends. If you go to Gurdwara, you make those circle of friends.

End of the day, WHY WILL MARRIAGE BE A PROBLEM? 1) I want to marry someone who is LIKE-MINDED (i.e. religious), and 2) the Guru's who's path I have chosen the Guru's path who will LOOK AFTER ME - You have nothing to worry about. Leave it to Guru Ji. [Pose the question:] "Do have Faith in Guru Ji?


* "You will find it hard to keep Rehat. We don't want you taking Amrit and then next day taking off your Kirpaan and cutting your hair. Taking Amrit is BIG commitment."

Response:
"Thank you for valuing Amrit and understanding the importance of Rehat. I totally agree with you. I have tried to keep Rehat for "x" amount of time. I can do Nitnem, I can wear my 5 Ks, and I have the SANGAT to SUPPORT me. On top of that I will have the STRENGTH of GURU Ji. I know it’s a commitment and I am willing to make it. I want my life to be of Guru Ji. [Pose the question to them:] "Guru Ji has done so much for us, don't you think it is good that we should do what Guru Ji asks from us and become Guru-Wale?"


CONCLUSION
End of the day your parents are NOT your ENEMIES. They want the BEST for you. You have to demonstrate and explain with SINCERETY, PYAAR and HUMILITY that TAKING AMRIT is the BEST THING for you. Its best if you get them to share their feelings, concerns and worries and you should have the CONFIDENCE to answer those and show them that all you want to do is HOLD ON to Guru Ji's hand and have GURU SAHIB's KIRPAA in your life - that is SUKH and MORE SUKH... Isn't that what all parent's want?

ਅਨਦ ਮੰਗਲ ਗੁਰ ਚਰਣੀ ਲਾਗੇ ਪਾਏ ਸੂਖ ਘਨੇਰੇ ਰਾਮ ॥
anand mangal gur charNee laage, paa-e sookh ghanere raam.
Ecstasy, bliss and great happiness are obtained by grasping hold of the Guru's feet.
(Ang 925)

ਜੋ ਹਮਰੀ ਬਿਧਿ ਹੋਤੀ ਮੇਰੇ ਸਤਿਗੁਰਾ ਸਾ ਬਿਧਿ ਤੁਮ ਹਰਿ ਜਾਣਹੁ ਆਪੇ ॥
jo hamree biDh hotee mere satiguraa, saa biDh tum har jaaNhu aape.
My condition, O my True Guru - that condition, O Lord, is known only to You.

ਹਮ ਰੁਲਤੇ ਫਿਰਤੇ ਕੋਈ ਬਾਤ ਨ ਪੂਛਤਾ ਗੁਰ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸੰਗਿ ਕੀਰੇ ਹਮ ਥਾਪੇ ॥
ham rulte phirte ko-ee baat na poochh-taa, gur satgur sang keere ham thaape.
I was rolling around in the dirt, and no one cared for me at all. In the Company of the Guru, the True Guru, I, the worm, have been raised up and exalted.

ਧੰਨੁ ਧੰਨੁ ਗੁਰੂ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਨ ਕੇਰਾ ਜਿਤੁ ਮਿਲਿਐ ਚੂਕੇ ਸਭਿ ਸੋਗ ਸੰਤਾਪੇ ॥੪॥੫॥੧੧॥੪੯॥
Dhan Dhan guroo naanak jan keraa, jit mili-ai chooke sabh sog santaape. 451149
Blessed, blessed is the Guru of servant Nanak; meeting Him, all my sorrows and troubles have come to an end. 451149
(Ang 167)